Colleagues Are Human Too!

Remember that your colleagues are human beings too.

Yes, even your manager, and the business owners!

In the counselling world, there is a term called ‘Splitting’, which describes our tendency to only see certain parts of other people’s characters (and our own). Splitting is something that EVERYONE does to an extent, and it has a useful purpose because we simply wouldn’t be able to function if we were constantly aware of EVERY side of EVERY person we have exchanges with each day.

What does this mean, in day-to-day terms?

➡️ If a stranger in the street swears loudly, we see them as “the person who shouts and swears”

➡️ If one manager never says good morning to us, we may see them as “the rude one” and assume we should be wary of them.

➡️ If another manager always asks how we are, we may see them as “the nice one” and think we can get away with more.

➡️ If a colleague is into the same music as us, we may be more drawn to them and may automatically think they are better at their job than others.

These are very crude and basic examples - splitting is rooted in a much deeper and more complex set of unconscious processes. The point is that in each of these situations we ‘split off’ the parts that we don’t want to see, in order to keep our world more simple (good/bad, right/wrong etc) and easier to navigate. We can also split off parts of ourselves too.

How you relate to people in authority, for example, may be rooted in how your related to your teachers at school, or your parents. How you treat people in your team may be rooted in having siblings (or not having siblings).

One of the benefits of some kind of therapy is that it enables you to see your world in a much richer, deeper way, building more meaningful relationships as a result. There doesn’t need to be anything ‘wrong’ to need to see a counsellor / therapist / mentor. Doing it in a more proactive way can be a hugely rewarding, healthy approach to personal development.